1 97.999% of animals in the UK are artificial and have been created by the government for their own sordid purposes
2 Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, Michael Howard and Charles Kennedy are all members of a secretive organisation called GOATRAN - GET OUT ALL THE REAL ANIMALS - they meet on the Isle of White at a secret woodland location once a month
3 Michael Portillo owns the only real rabbit left in the UK
4 By the end of this year ants will be the only real species left in the UK and they'll be extinct by 2006
5 The government have been working with Argos to transport the dead animals around the UK to massive incinerators that they have built in Argos Warehouses
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